Sadie, The Undisturbed Horse

Two summers ago I had a group of friends over to our place for a trail ride, followed by a cookout. We live close the the St Marys river. Because we have wonderful neighbors who are willing to share, as long as we are respectful of their property, we have access to several miles of trail riding along the river. (Thank You neighbors.) I had invited a couple of horseless friends who enjoy horses and riding. One of them was Ginger. I had her ride my horse Sadie. Sadie is a sorrel, small Tennessee Walker type horse, who now lives with a good friend of mine over by Erie, PA. There were 10 - 12 of us on this ride altogether. There were 5 of us riding up front in a group, with the others at a distance behind. We were riding on a trail through a field of tall grass. All of a sudden a bird flushed up out of the grass right beside us on the left. Well 4 of the 5 horses instantly 'flushed' to the right at least 10 - 12 feet. As the 4 of us regained our composure, I turned around and looked at Sadie. There was Sadie just standing in the same spot in the trail, looking at the rest of us as if to say, "What the heck? It was only a bird!". So why did Sadie remain calm, and the other 4 horses hit the panic button? Have you ever noticed that about people as well? Have you ever noticed that some people go through a situation and are all stressed out? Yet someone else can go through the same, or very similar, situation and they stay calm and at peace? Why is that? What is the difference between someone who stresses out over circumstances, and someone who remains calm and at peace? The only answer I have come up with is - It's our 'Perception' of the circumstances that make the difference. It is how we 'see' what's going on. It is what we 'believe' about what is going on. It is the 'meaning' we give to the event. Just something to think about.

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Jan. 19, 2012 Newsletter

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me." Remember that saying from childhood?

The truth is, words can affect someone's entire life, good or bad.

There is a verse in the Bible that says, "Life and death are in the power of the tongue."

I would encourage you to be aware of the words that come out of your mouth. To be aware of the 'programming' you are inputting into those around you.

You especially need to be aware of those things you are saying to yourself. What kind of 'programming' are you installing in yourself? If you go around saying things like, "I'm so stupid", "I'm so clumsy", "I don't know enough to do that", "I'll always be broke", . . . That is what you are programming yourself for.

You may not even have realized the things you've said to yourself up to this point. Often they can flash through your mind so fast you aren't even aware of them. (But your subconscious hears them.) Hopefully after reading this you will start being aware, and will start programming yourself in a positive way.

I'm going to keep it short this week. There is a lot to think about in these few short paragraphs.

My hope is that you and I take it to heart, and 'program' not only ourselves, but those around us, for the good.

Jan. 12, 2012 Newsletter

You've probably heard the saying about 'the best laid plans' . . .

Well that's kind of how I felt a few days ago when I discovered that the links in my newsletters have not been working.

MY APOLOGIES. The links in this newsletter should now be working. (If you have trouble with any of them, please email me at Jane@TakeHoldOfTheReins.com and let me know.)

And, I am working on a Free Gift for you. You should be seeing it in your inbox in the next few days. Please watch for it. It will contain some information that could be very valuable to you.

All of this brings me once again to 'letting go'.

I had to work at not 'beating myself up' over this, and 'let it go'. After all, there is nothing I can do about it now. There is nothing I can do about the past. All I can do at this point is, 'let it go', correct it, and move forward.

You know, there is a big difference between 'letting go' and 'burying your feelings'.

I used to 'bury my feelings'. 'Stuff them down inside'. 'Grin and bear it'. 'Suck it up'. 'Toughen up'. 'Swallow my pride'. 'Build a wall'. Oh, and 'keep my mouth shut'.

'Burying your feelings' really isn't very healthy. I knew that. Trouble is I didn't know what else to do with those feelings.

Then a couple of years ago I read something on letting go. And it has been one of those life changing things for me.

Burying feelings can be likened to holding a stone in your hand and clenching it tight.You don't dare let it go. You don't dare let those emotions out. That would be a sign of weakness.

'Letting it go' is like turning your hand over, opening your hand, and letting the stone just fall to the ground.

Next time you need to 'let it go', try it. Think about clenching your fist tight and 'holding it in'. See what that feels like. Now, turn your hand over, open your hand, and 'let it fall away'. It is much more of a relief.

Or try this, think about it as a butterfly that you are holding in the palm of your lightly closed hand. Now open your hand, let it go, and watch the butterfly fly away.

You will live a lot more free if you learn to 'let it go', instead of 'burying it'. I know I have.

Jan. 5, 2012 Newsletter

I have a confession to make. My newest horse Onyx has really been 'pushing one of my buttons'.

My horses have access to a dry lot from their stalls. Onyx has access to the dry lot all day long. But for some reason, which I haven't figured out yet, she insists on going #1 in her stall, and not outside.

She will come in her stall from outside to 'use the facilities' and then go back out. If I have her shut outside for the afternoon, then let her in at chore time, as soon as I shut her door to the outside, she will often 'go' in her stall right away, even though she has been outside all afternoon. When I go to the barn early afternoon for their mid-day snack, as soon as she hears me slide the barn door open, she is 'going' in her stall, before heading to the outside manger for her afternoon feeding of hay.

A couple of nights ago I shut her outside to clean her stall. I heard her pacing outside the door and thought that was a little unusual. I cleaned her stall and got her pan of feed ready and in her stall for her. When I opened the door to let her in, she darn near knocked me down in her hurry to get in her stall and go #1 in the corner. She didn't even stop to eat. I swear she had to have been outside crossing her legs and holding herself, just waiting to get in, so she could 'go'.

Well I was mad. I know it didn't help because I'd been sick, and I was tired and didn't feel well, but that really pushed my buttons.

After I made myself calm down, I did some thinking. (I do try and learn something from my 'mistakes'.)

I reminded myself that just a couple of weeks ago I had written about 'letting go of those things we can't do anything about, and changing those things we can'.

So what are my options?

Well, I could keep right on letting it push my buttons, but that doesn't seem like a good option. That will only deteriorate our relationship.

My other 2 options are: 1) I could do something about it and sell the horse (yes, I know, I can hear some of you gasping). Or 2) I can learn to let it go and quit letting it push my buttons, because I don't think I'm going to change Onyx.

That made me take a look at other areas of my life once again. Is there somewhere else I need to either 'let it go', or 'do something about it'. Continuing to allow my buttons to be pushed is not an option. And yes, I believe we 'allow' it.

And the truth is, I think our buttons get pushed when our expectations are not being met. We get frustrated when things are not going the way we think they should. (Sometimes the truth does hurt.)

The good news is, my buttons don't get pushed near as often as they used to!

What about you? Is there some place you can apply this in your own life? You have 3 options:
• Keep letting it push your buttons
• Let it go
• Do something about it

Dec. 29, 2011 Newsletter

It is only a few short days until the end of 2011, and the start of a brand new year, 2012. If you are like me, you have probably received numerous emails and newsletters about setting your goals and resolutions for the New Year.

I believe it is important for you to take a look back at 2011 and see what you would like to change, or improve, or do differently, along with what are the next thing(s) you would like to accomplish for 2012.

One thing I'd like you to think about though for 2012 is, 'who would you like to BE'? What kind of person would you like to BE? Would you like to be more patient? Would you like to be more: confident, assertive, peaceful, calm, grateful, outgoing . . . ?

What if you needed to BE, before you could DO or HAVE? Who would you need to become?

I believe when You change, circumstances and people around you will also change.

So spend some time thinking about what kind of person you would like to be.

Then go BE THAT PERSON. This is kind of like 'fake, til you make it'. Start acting like the person you want to be. Practice picturing yourself being and responding like the person you would like to be . Take time to visualize yourself being the person you'd like to be.

When you find yourself in a situation where you wish you could be different, whether it's more patient, or less stressed, or more assertive, instead of 'wishing', start being that person you want to be. You are not being a fraud. You are working towards you being the person you want to be.

Another idea is, think of a person who is like the person you want to become in a certain area. Who do you know that sets a good example in a given situation? A boss, past or present? A teacher, a good friend, . . .? Then act like that person would. 'See' yourself following their example.

Here's to you being 'The Best You, You Can Be' in 2012.

Happy New Year! to each and everyone of you. May God richly bless each and everyone of you in the coming year, and beyond.